Essen restaurant and beer cafe is certainly serious about their schnitzel. For one, it is the first place I have been where “one schnitty please” has not been a recognised order. Whether it was a German reluctance to recognise our shameless demoralisation of their language, as the English, at times, seem to think “G’day mate” should be enunciated “Good day mate” or that our waiter was truly so authentic he simply did not understand. Secondly, the menus consisted of Entree, Main, Deserts and Schnitzel. I rubbed my eyes a few times, had a guy on the next table pinch me, was I seeing this correctly, a menu dedicated to Schnitzel? Thankfully I didn’t follow convention and try to progress through the menus in that order, instead I turned to the Schnitzel menu and began the process of carefully selecting my meal.
The menu itself has 8 different schnitzel options, which are done either with chicken or veal... providing you with 16 choices in total! From your run-of-the-mill schnitzel, the menu moves towards the more exotic from ‘Jeager Schniztel’ to ‘Gypsy Schnitzel’ to ‘Zingara Schnitzel’ to ‘Diane Schnitzel’. With a menu that sounds as tempting as a German porn film on mute (with the names to match) I spent like, what seemed an eternity, until settling on the one with creamy green pepper sauce.
The schnitzel itself arrived and was the size of the plate it was served on. With the confidence of an wretched fisherman, I turned to the waiter and said, “I’ve seen bigger”.. I was then informed that underneath my plate-sized schnitzel, there was in fact a second plate-sized schnitzel. Dear lord. The chicken was breast, and cooked beautifully with the meat tender and moist. The crumb was golden, light and fluffy. From first bite to last, every part of this continent sized meat was perfect. The sauce suburb and not overpowering. The meals comes served with potato roesti and cabbage salad (which is generally contained on a second plate). Now I must admit, at first I was a little disappointed with the “my way or the highway” choice of sides. I typically prefer my meals served with chips and a little green to clear the conscious. However, what Essen does is remove your default option by taking you out of your comfort zone, and pairs the accompaniments beautifully. As many beer cafes, German, Czech or Dutch do when they serve a litre of beer with a schooner worth of head (froth), they do something their way and they do it because of tradition and because it works.
The atmosphere in the place was far from electric, but then again, you head somewhere on a Monday night for a late feed and you don’t expect much. However, there was definitely a food buzz. From groups like ours pushing through and finishing our meals in what must have seemed like a 1500m swimmer fist pumping, chest beating jumping out of the water type-triumph, to those tables of date table of two - everyone at the restaurant felt like we were doing something great and achieving a food dream together.
If you’re looking to relive your Oktoberfest days of stein drinking, fried food eating messiness, you’ve come to the wrong place. What you will find at Essen is a selection of beautiful meals, friendly (in a very matter of fact kind of way) service and some really good beers to match. For those couples, probably only the sort of place you can go once you’ve reached a certain comfort level in the relationship... instead head there with a small group and enjoy a few.
For all the hype, and for the $22.50 price tag, this place does not disappoint and I will not attempt to find fault. Essen is German for 'to eat', and when you are at this place, that is one command you follow!
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